I y'am what I y'am

I y'am what I y'am

There exists a pseudoscientific theory about infinite universes, or rather a multiverse. Scientists have actually theorized that unknown universes could exist next to, parallel, or on top of our own. This is largely due to the fact that no one is really sure what the shape of space-time is. We believe it to be infinitely spreading out in one direction like a tunnel, hence the reason we can’t travel back in time. However, it may be that space-time is a bubble or perhaps cyclical.

Another reason another universe could exist is that it technically already does. Approximately 13.7 billion years ago the universe exploded into existence during the event that we call the big bang. That means that matter has had 13.7 billion years to expand away from the epicenter of the bang. The farthest reaches of that matter to the center our universe is what we consider our universe. If the universe is constantly expanding, then there must be space to expand into, and that space is technically its own universe too. This is because we can’t see it, if it exists at all.

Inside this theory is the idea that multiple yous’ mes’ and, hers exist as well. Every infinite possibility that exists in our lifetime is then played out somewhere. Had to choose between wearing red or blue today? You decided red; in your neighbor universe you may have also chosen blue.  I don’t necessarily believe any of it. I’d rather believe that Hogwarts could be real. However, it would be a comforting thought to know that somewhere out there, a version of me was working at the CIA. This version of me would be very physically fit, saved the world multiple times on multiple occasions, and he’d be a world renowned author in his spare time. If the aforementioned theory is correct then somewhere out there I exist like that. It’s science.

The truth is that I am the only me that I’ve got. One lifetime and one me, is all I have to work with. I never realized my dream of joining the CIA, a dream that I’ve had since I was sixteen. Time to despair, right? Nah. I may never join the CIA, and it’s likely that I will not. However, life is more than what we dream it up to be. Life is happening in your footprints, not your horizon.

I like me.

I like my scars. Each one tells a story that is me.

I like my belly fat. Each pound was something delicious I enjoyed.

I like my non 20/20 vision. It’s evidence of the many books I’ve read with suboptimal lighting, and maybe genetics.

I like my unfulfilled dreams; they’re just reflections of how I really view myself.

I like my stress. It’s proof that I care.

I like my heart ache. Each pain was a chance where I got to care so deeply about something, or someone, that it reached my very core.

I like me.

I am easily distracted by others and their dreams. Squirrel! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t usually keeping envy on a slow boil.  But my life is my own, and it’s always been mine. Life (this universe’s version anyway) is just like that raggedy old t-shirt you never want to throw away, it’s still beautiful to you even if in itself it’s not beautiful. I wouldn’t change anything about it. If I deleted a single iota from my past than I might accidently take something I treasure about myself as well.  We all have to reconcile our dreams with reality. However, in reality I am living the dream.