The Top Fives of Fatherhood

The Top Fives of Fatherhood

Fatherhood has resulted in: 

1. Me unwittingly dyeing my sideburns silver;
2. Two half-people constantly extorting me for money;
3. The murder-suicide of my friends: free time and hobbies;
4. My twin allergies to eating healthy and exercise; and
5. A minimum sentence of 30 years to life working at an internment office.

If fatherhood was taken away from me I would:

1. Never laugh again;
2. Never smile again,
3. Never breath again;
4. Never sleep again; and
5. Never dream again.

My favorite part of a being a father is:

1. I finally have my own clique of friends who think I am cool;
2. I get 3 times as many birthdays;
3. No one can judge me for buying toys;
4. Two more converts to the gospel of Tolkien; and
5. Someday they might buy me a house.

My advice for my kids is: 

1. Don't ever let 80's fashion become cool again;
2. Learn to network, you're never too young for a Linkedin account;
3. Love the women in your life, otherwise they can make your life hell;
4. Start saving for retirement now; it has a better rate of return than college; and
5. Life can be fun even if you're the only one who knows it.

My advice for a new father, or someone considering fatherhood is:

1. If you're considering fatherhood than DON'T. You have to WANT fatherhood more than anything else currently going on in your life.

2. Fatherhood is greater than anything currently going on in your life;

3. If it's a sacrifice then you could be doing it better; 

4. If you're not enjoying it you could be doing it better; and

5. If you're not taking care of you then you could be doing it better. 

I love being a father. Fatherhood is a force multiplier of good. If your life is awesome than having a kid is only multiplying that awesomeness. It's never to be taken lightly. It's the greatest adventure, mission, calling, dream, and life you could possibly have. Your life isn't your own, or rather it doesn't fully belong to you. It's been passed down through countless generations. Ever since the dawn of time one of your ancestors has been around, and every single one of them chose to be fathers. Love being a father? Pass it on! (Responsibly)