Rouge One: The Star Wars Expansion Pack

Rouge One Review: The Expansion Pack

Spoilers Ahead! 

Author's Note: I don't feel particularly adept at doing movie reviews. Oftentimes my feelings towards a movie are complex and ever-changing. There are people who do this professionally. I do it as a hobby. SPOILER WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do I feel about Rouge One? Conflicted. My cinematic movie experiences are usually two sided; with a light and a dark side. The light side draws strength from the movie's ability to appeal to my inner 13-year old.. The dark side draws strength from the movies ability to appeal to my inner film critic (his age is around 57). The two sides often debate each other, and a movie is truly excellent when they are in consensus. Sometimes the light side breaks rank and declares a movie great despite showing numerous cinematic flaws. (Step Brothers) Sometimes the dark side seizes control and declares a movie good even though I have to admit I had no fun watching it. (There Will Be Blood)

The Light Side

The movie was a LOT of fun! I felt like it was truer to the originals than any Star Wars movie so far. Which is weird because it lacked Jedi, the force, and lightsaber battles. The sequels were just hot CGI messes, and TFA was just a repackaged version of the originals. I liked Rouge One because it introduced us to so many new things. Things we neither expected or demanded. 

The movie gave us to not one, not two, but many planets! (I didn't count how many, I think like 3 or 4 maybe). Each world was unique and contributed to the overarching story in its own way. There was a lot of action in this movie and by spreading it over several planets it gave itself a big enough stage to pull it all off. 

The movie gave us a lot of new characters. After 20 minutes of TFA I just wanted to tell the movie, "I get it. These are the old characters, these are the new ones. They're literally passing the torch. I get it, I get it." A lot of the new characters die and I love that. It means they served their purpose and moved on. They left it all on the field. They were momentary flashes of brilliant light, and once spent, they moved on. Death done correctly in movies can add a lot to the story. 

The movie gave us a number of new ships and vehicles. It even gave us a new harrowing perspective on classic vehicles. All the familiar craft were there as well and it I would say the dogfights were amazing. Yes there were plenty of little crafts that bit it but at one point, two Star Destroyers crash into each other and punch a hole in a planetary shield. Very cool. 

I started writing this right after watching the movie but I didn't finish. It's been too long now for me to continue writing a faithful review. I will tie this one off by just giving it my new rating system for movies.

Story	6 -	It's a side story to a larger one and not super well expanded on.
Character Development	6	- Lot's of characters, too little development. They focus on the star but not enough on the other characters which are oftentimes more interesting.
Cinematography	8 -	Disney's customary polished look.
Acting	8	- It wasn't bad acting, but no chills and no particularly quotable lines.
Fun	9.5 -	Lots of space battles, didn't think it looked too CG.
Score:	7.5

Dear Utah

Dear Utah,

I think it's about time we talk. We've grown too comfortable in our relationship of subtle indifference towards each other. We're not friends but neither are we enemies. I neither hate you or particularly dislike you. I am sure it's mutual.

Where to begin? I suppose it has to do with where we started. I am not your native born son, I am adopted. You had no influence on my creation. Your mountain waters neither helped create me or sustain me. Your lofty mountain peaks did not provide me shelter, or inspire me with their aesthetic beauty. I was an adult before we met truly for the first time. How could we possible have a relationship?

 I've met your children and they are good people. They're hardy stock, salt of the earth type of people. I even married one. They get you. They don't want to leave you. You have an inexplicable power over them, for even if they move they still feel your call. Many who do leave you end up returning. But why? What is it about you that is so attractive?

Is it because they're used to being isolated? That can't be true because I happen to know the vast majority of them speak multiple languages, and have spent long periods of time far away from you. They get around.

Is it because of the weather? Hardly. No offense Utah but you're weather leaves little to the imagination and leaves a lot to be desired. I experienced winters growing up, and yet they seemed so much nicer out east. Throw in your famous inversion habit during the winter and it's a surprise anyone sticks around at all.

You have your mountains, and to many, I guess that's enough of a flower to keep them buzzing around. Best snow on earth you say. I can't dispute that, maybe it is. I however I have no desire to go find out. I see skiing as more of a novelty that locals have adapted to. I've had people explain to me how great it is. I get why they love it. For me though, and only me, it is not appealing.   

I think you appeal to, for the lack of a better word, mountain people. I am not one. My question is: Do I have to become one if I am to stick around? I drive a Honda Accord. I really don't have any plans to stop driving a Honda Accord. If I am to believe what I see on your streets you'd prefer I get a truck. I don't haul anything, and I don't have tools I need for work so I don't really see the point myself. Based solely on my own personal observations, I think maybe lots of your children do have a constant need for hauling things and tools around. I would also guess that maybe they're not very good at managing their time, or perhaps they have a LOT of things and tools to haul, because they always seem to be in a terrible hurry.

I do like to hike. However, your idea of hiking and my idea of hiking don't seem like the same thing. I like to hike in nature. Your people like to hike in as little of nature as possible. Also, I like to hike more or less on a horizontal plane; your folks prefer the vertical plane. Rocks and views are great, and I can't deny their appeal. However, I like trees and lots of them. You have them, but they don't seem like as big a priority with you than they are with me.

Your history. Let's talk about your history because at first glance you have none. Impossible you say? Touché, you have a history and it's not a bad one either, just not that interesting...to me. From what I can tell you were unknown wilderness to all but the random tribes of people that wandered through you. It's like you didn't even enjoy having children at first, you were pretty inhospitable. The Spaniards came but they used you more for treasure hunting. On a personal note, I do find this era of your history particularly fascinating. There must be something about being born in Spain that drives one to be excited about gold and treasure. The Spaniards just didn't do much while they were here. Then came the Mormons. You seemed to like them and they seemed to like you. I believe that's when you began enjoying being a state to a lot of people. Now you're a modern metropolis nestled in the mountains. You appeal to both liberal hipsters and conservative traditionalists. Quite the accomplishment. Yet, historically you're pretty vanilla.

(Full disclosure, as a Mormon I have to acknowledge our ties. I am legally obligated to treat you like the Mormon Mecca. I acknowledge and herby give you all due acknowledgement and kudos that you are legally obligated to.)

Maybe by this point you're feeling a little defensive. Who am I to question you? If I don't like you then why don't I just leave? Again, touché. You've provided me with quite the domesticated life here. I can't rightly complain.

I just don't get you. We've been together for some time now. We live together. I just feel other lands a calling. I have wanderlust. You provide no natural remedy to wanderlust. I don't just want to go on vacation and leave you periodically, I want to roam.

No matter how long I live here we're never going to be part of a familial unit. I've never been to a Jazz game, and I've never been to Lagoon. I hope you don't take it personally. I am going to forever feel like a foreigner in your land. I appreciate everything you've done for me so far, and I wish you the best. I don't write this letter to hurt your feelings. I just felt it was time we defined the relationship. It felt time that you understood where I am coming from. I hope we can continue to get along.

Sincerely,

Micah  

Bad Guys: A Post from 2014

Humans, by our very nature, love to categorize the world and everything we find in it. It’s a tool we use to learn. By classifying things we take the wealth of knowledge that is this world and break it down into manageable bits that help us digest and understand it. We especially love to classify ourselves; white and black, tall and short, blood type A and blood type O. Ideally, this would make sure that everyone had a place in this world and everyone belonged in their perspective niche.

Perfect, right?

Well, at one point we came across what are called heroes aka the “good guys”. Paragons of moral fortitude and examples of everything that’s right in this world. Heroes are as old as humans, and as humans we made a category for them. We propped them up, we immortalized their stories, and cemented their place in society. What we did not fully understand at the time was that for every hero we created, we also created a villain. OK, we sort of understood this, most of the time these heroes of legend arose out necessity to stop a villain. We didn't make those particular villains, and occasionally a villain would rise to stop a hero. Either way, we decided as a race that some of us were good guys and some of us were bad guys.

Now flash forward to 2014. Our race has advanced so far and so fast that we are now starting to expand away from Earth. Our technology, our society, or advances are both stunning and beautiful. We learned and we learned well. Were we not so very flawed, we might have been able to create a utopia by now. Perhaps we still will.

Except…

Except in our brave new world we still have good guys and bad guys.

Now before I continue, I want to explicitly state that I believe in the existence of evil and the existence of good. When light is cast at an object there is light, and the remainder is the absence of light, otherwise known as dark. Heroes do exist and thank goodness they do. There is evil in this world and it’s up to heroes to eliminate it. What I am talking about is a different kind of good guy and bad guy. Perhaps we should call them “feel good guys” and “feel bad guys” as to not get confused. I will explain.

In the movie Wreck-It Ralph we are introduced to the diamond in the rough himself, Ralph. Ralph is a character in a video game where he is the bad guy. His programming dictates that he must routinely destroy a suburban high-rise and terrorize its residents. The game demands his rampages so as to allow the hero of the game, Fix-It Felix Jr, to come in and fix everything, thus saving the day. In this cut and try video game world, everything has a purpose and everyone is in their place.

Except…

Except Ralph as become increasingly dissatisfied with his lot in life. His wanton destruction quickly becomes meaningless to him as he searches for a greater purpose. Ralph is a bad guy; it’s who he is and why he was created. He is publicly ostracized and rejected by society. Yet he wants to experience more, do more, and be more. Except that he can’t, he’s a bad guy. They just don’t do that. Bad guys have to follow the program and wreck things like Ralph does. Ralph is 9 ft tall and weighs a couple of hundred pounds. He has colossal, hulking arms which he uses to destroy things. His appearance is unkempt and everything about him denotes him as a bad guy. So why doesn't he feel like it?

Do you ever feel like a bad guy? Somewhere out there, someone exists just to fix the problems you create. Someone is destined to oppose all your clumsy errors. You look bad; therefore someone out there is looking good. Feel familiar?

It’s because as a society we've created the feel good guys and the feel bad guys. Hollywood is a great example of this. We've taken normal, deeply flawed individuals and turned them into heroes. We immortalize them in movies and tell the world these are our modern day heroes. Everything they then do becomes hero-like behavior. They have finely tuned herculean bodies. They have money, fancy cars, big houses, and extravagant lifestyles. They are sought after, followed, and emulated on every level. Their behavior is our example of perfection.

But…

But what has this done? If these “good guys” are the gold standard for everything that’s right and perfect then I must not be doing anything right at all. I don’t have a fancy car, my body has seen one too many milkshakes, and I live in a condo. Those grievous confessions aren't nearly as bad as my behavior. I do worry about money, I don’t worry too much about going to the gym, and frankly I don’t care what others think of me. I must be a bad guy. Or someone society has covertly tried to convince that they should feel bad. They have to shame me into wanting to be a hero/good guy otherwise if I didn't then their heroes would lose power.

Except I am perfectly happy being a bad guy. Bad guys are awesome as Ralph learns in the movie. Bad guys are sometimes just bad guys because that’s who society has covertly labeled bad by the virtue of them not following what society has marked as good. Again, this is not a morality issue. We’ve just confused our heroes with those valued by the majority.

Listen to Zangeff, a character from the same movie and from the game street fighter.

“I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit bottom, I was crushing man's skull like sparrow's egg, between my thighs... and I think, why you have to be so bad, Zangief? Why can't you be more like good guy? Then I have moment of clarity... if Zangief is good guy, who will crush man's skull like sparrow's eggs between thighs? And I say, Zangief you are bad guy, but this does not mean you are *bad* guy.”

To be clear I am not advocating the crushing of men’s skulls, especially between thighs. However, I do think that Zangief had a genuine moment of clarity. He was crushing men’s skulls but started to feel bad about it because society was making him feel bad for who he was. He realized then that if he changed who he was then there’d be no one like him left. He ultimately decides he is just who he wants to be.

At the end of the movie, Ralph learns this important lesson. Bad guys aren't actually very bad. Bad guys are just bad guys because someone has labeled them that way. What is really important is that Ralph is unique. But in our world we don’t like unique. We crave conformity, we crave being politically correct, and we crave acceptance. Being unpopular=bad. Wrong!

 That’s why I am OK with being a bad guy. Bad guys are creative, bad guys don’t abandon their deeply held beliefs, and bad guys are constantly defeated but never give up. Guess what? You might just be a bad guy too! Don’t let society, or the media, or anyone treat you like less because you don’t blindly seek after what they do. Many of this world’s greatest heroes were bad guys to popular society. Look at Abraham Lincoln, Joseph Smith, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, most Christians, and most atheists.   These people were labeled as bad guys. Can you imagine this world if they had opted to be popular instead? Understand that society wants you to feel like a bad guy. But be proud of that! It means you are doing something right. If everyone is thinking the same thing then someone is not thinking! Be a bad guy, embrace your inner badiness. Stand up for yourself and be a bad guy to the truly bad people of the world. Before we part ways, please join me in the bad guy affirmation.

I am bad, and that's good.

I will never be good, and that's not bad.

There's no one I'd rather be than me.

I y'am what I y'am

I y'am what I y'am

There exists a pseudoscientific theory about infinite universes, or rather a multiverse. Scientists have actually theorized that unknown universes could exist next to, parallel, or on top of our own. This is largely due to the fact that no one is really sure what the shape of space-time is. We believe it to be infinitely spreading out in one direction like a tunnel, hence the reason we can’t travel back in time. However, it may be that space-time is a bubble or perhaps cyclical.

Another reason another universe could exist is that it technically already does. Approximately 13.7 billion years ago the universe exploded into existence during the event that we call the big bang. That means that matter has had 13.7 billion years to expand away from the epicenter of the bang. The farthest reaches of that matter to the center our universe is what we consider our universe. If the universe is constantly expanding, then there must be space to expand into, and that space is technically its own universe too. This is because we can’t see it, if it exists at all.

Inside this theory is the idea that multiple yous’ mes’ and, hers exist as well. Every infinite possibility that exists in our lifetime is then played out somewhere. Had to choose between wearing red or blue today? You decided red; in your neighbor universe you may have also chosen blue.  I don’t necessarily believe any of it. I’d rather believe that Hogwarts could be real. However, it would be a comforting thought to know that somewhere out there, a version of me was working at the CIA. This version of me would be very physically fit, saved the world multiple times on multiple occasions, and he’d be a world renowned author in his spare time. If the aforementioned theory is correct then somewhere out there I exist like that. It’s science.

The truth is that I am the only me that I’ve got. One lifetime and one me, is all I have to work with. I never realized my dream of joining the CIA, a dream that I’ve had since I was sixteen. Time to despair, right? Nah. I may never join the CIA, and it’s likely that I will not. However, life is more than what we dream it up to be. Life is happening in your footprints, not your horizon.

I like me.

I like my scars. Each one tells a story that is me.

I like my belly fat. Each pound was something delicious I enjoyed.

I like my non 20/20 vision. It’s evidence of the many books I’ve read with suboptimal lighting, and maybe genetics.

I like my unfulfilled dreams; they’re just reflections of how I really view myself.

I like my stress. It’s proof that I care.

I like my heart ache. Each pain was a chance where I got to care so deeply about something, or someone, that it reached my very core.

I like me.

I am easily distracted by others and their dreams. Squirrel! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t usually keeping envy on a slow boil.  But my life is my own, and it’s always been mine. Life (this universe’s version anyway) is just like that raggedy old t-shirt you never want to throw away, it’s still beautiful to you even if in itself it’s not beautiful. I wouldn’t change anything about it. If I deleted a single iota from my past than I might accidently take something I treasure about myself as well.  We all have to reconcile our dreams with reality. However, in reality I am living the dream. 

The Top Fives of Fatherhood

The Top Fives of Fatherhood

Fatherhood has resulted in: 

1. Me unwittingly dyeing my sideburns silver;
2. Two half-people constantly extorting me for money;
3. The murder-suicide of my friends: free time and hobbies;
4. My twin allergies to eating healthy and exercise; and
5. A minimum sentence of 30 years to life working at an internment office.

If fatherhood was taken away from me I would:

1. Never laugh again;
2. Never smile again,
3. Never breath again;
4. Never sleep again; and
5. Never dream again.

My favorite part of a being a father is:

1. I finally have my own clique of friends who think I am cool;
2. I get 3 times as many birthdays;
3. No one can judge me for buying toys;
4. Two more converts to the gospel of Tolkien; and
5. Someday they might buy me a house.

My advice for my kids is: 

1. Don't ever let 80's fashion become cool again;
2. Learn to network, you're never too young for a Linkedin account;
3. Love the women in your life, otherwise they can make your life hell;
4. Start saving for retirement now; it has a better rate of return than college; and
5. Life can be fun even if you're the only one who knows it.

My advice for a new father, or someone considering fatherhood is:

1. If you're considering fatherhood than DON'T. You have to WANT fatherhood more than anything else currently going on in your life.

2. Fatherhood is greater than anything currently going on in your life;

3. If it's a sacrifice then you could be doing it better; 

4. If you're not enjoying it you could be doing it better; and

5. If you're not taking care of you then you could be doing it better. 

I love being a father. Fatherhood is a force multiplier of good. If your life is awesome than having a kid is only multiplying that awesomeness. It's never to be taken lightly. It's the greatest adventure, mission, calling, dream, and life you could possibly have. Your life isn't your own, or rather it doesn't fully belong to you. It's been passed down through countless generations. Ever since the dawn of time one of your ancestors has been around, and every single one of them chose to be fathers. Love being a father? Pass it on! (Responsibly) 

Talk less, smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for.

Talk less, smile more. Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for.

Talk less. Sage advice. I think a lot of people could benefit from talking less. This election has proven that time and time again.  Have you ever been in a classroom full of children where individual conversations coalesce into a cacophony of thunderous, exuberant, shouting? Quiet, thoughtful, meaningful, conversations become an impossibility. 

People want all things loud and in your face, all the time. You no longer get to have conversations on your own terms. Everyone must say something, and it must be louder than the next guys, for if it's not you lose. Even your "sheltered" social media can be deafening. Seemingly innocuous posts on Facebook can be in reality dark alleyways, laid by boisterous malcontents, intent on ambushing you with loud, contentious, diatribes that serve no real purpose.    

Talk less 

Maybe don't offer an opinion on everything. Maybe don't have an opinion on somethings. Do you walk around stark naked? Leave some things up to the imagination. What actually gets you up in arms? Does something actually make you angry, or do you gift your God-given powers of rage to random, unscrupulous individuals, who profit from it? The world was never meant to be this loud. Conversations used to be more organic. Turn the volume down, remove toxic individuals from your life, focus on the positive. 

Smile more 

Do you seek out the dog poop on the sidewalk of life? If you care about your soul, and sole (bottom of your shoe) then you avoid it when and where you can. Reading the news is a great example of an instance where we not only step in the dog poop, but vigorously rub it all over ourselves as well. Stay informed, don't get over informed. Smile. more. Seek out the small and simple things of life that make you smile. My children make me laugh more than any TV show, my wife makes me feel more love than any movie. A gas station hot dog has brought me more joy than the the results of the aforementioned elections. 

Don't let them know what you're against or what you're for

The world is a diverse place. Chances you've met someone who disagrees with you. Chances are you've driven by people on the street who vehemently disagree with you. Chances are the day is coming that you will come into contact with someone not only disagrees with you, but hates you for disagreeing. Scary no? It's not scary. You don't always need to be a crusader for every social injustice in existence. If you feel strongly about something then by all means preach, baby preach! Fight the good fight! Except...

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Chances are you can find more in common with people than you might think. Don't betray morals, ethics, values, or traditions in favor of capitulation or appeasement to the gods of political correctness. Instead create increased morals, ethics, values, and traditions by embracing commonality. To end this blog with a quote from Lincoln, 

Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?

By the way, Hamilton is overrated!